Ok, so I’m back. I spent the better part of 2018 trying to keep my head above water. Work took over my life and now that I’ve gotten out of that situation, I’m ready to get back to it. Welcome back people!
Recently I’ve had several conversations on why dating after 30 is so difficult for Black women. I’ve noticed how hard it is for my friends. My smart, driven, beautiful, brown, bomb.com friends. The women that are the game changers. The ones that have nothing to prove and everything to prove all at the same time. The ones that are supportive and loving and kind. The ones that any man would be lucky to have. Why does it seem as though these women are single in large numbers?
Black women constantly deal with the narrative that they are angry and aggressive. Overly independent. “Not yo momma.” I believe that these common misconceptions play a major role in why my gorgeous, melanated friends and women everywhere are looked over. The idea that we are difficult makes it easy for us to be overlooked. No one wants to deal with a mate that is argumentative and wants to be right all of the time. This is something that we hear on a constant basis. Expressing my feelings in a strong manner doesn’t make me angry. Being passionate about something doesn’t make me aggressive. Having an answer to your question that you don’t agree with doesn’t make me argumentative. They make me human. They show I have emotions. But most of all they show that I care about something enough to fight for it.
All of that said, I am asking men, not just Black men (although I do love a chocolate brotha), to take a chance on a Black woman that has something going for herself. Don’t let your ego and pride get in the way of having someone amazing. Black women will have your back. Push you to be better, see better, do better. I know there are plenty of Black women that you’ve had your eye on, but are a little afraid to ask out. Take a chance and I’m sure you’ll be surprised. You’d basically be dating a superhero.
To my stunning Black women, be open. He may not fit that list of traits you feel that you need. Be open to someone without a degree that is a hard worker, intelligent, and makes you laugh. Be open to someone of a different race who helps you to view the world differently and softens that hard exterior that we all know you have up.
A lot of us are looking for love, but there has to be openness and appreciation on both sides. I look forward to seeing more love in 2019.
K, byeeee!!
It's Me, Kelly D. 